Pink Tuesdays

I have come to the stage where I direct all my frustration onto somebody, and the poor sap is the Minister of Education, Hishammuddin:

PUTRAJAYA: Education Minister Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Hussein wants a study on the deteriorating performance of last year (2005)’s Sijil Tinggi Persekolahan Malaysia (STPM) candidates in several subjects.

Overall, he said, he is satisfied with their performance but results of subjects like Chinese Language, Computer Studies and Mathematics have dropped last year compared with the previous year.

It’s easy, Hishammuddin, the bar is constantly being raised for STPM students. Doing a past year paper from the 1990’s is easier than one from the 2000s. Why? Because of the likes of you racists, Hishammuddin. Malay students go do the easier matriculation program under your ministry. Why is that, Hishammuddin? So that more Malays can go into university, come out and can’t find for a job?

If there is nothing wrong with STPM, Hishammuddin, why doesn’t your daughter do it? Why is your daughter in Australia instead? Is it because you lack trust in STPM or you lack confidence in your daughter? What about your ministry’s matriculation program? Is it because you think it is too low a standard for your daughter? You want her to do something recognized outside of Malaysia.

You see, Hishammuddin, the likes of you have turned the likes of me against this country. Right now, I have nothing but hate for this country. The first chance I get on leaving this country not to study but for good, I’ll take. I hate this country, Hishammuddin, and you only have you and your fellow party comrades to blame.

I don’t think I have ever been so downcast or depressed regarding any exam results compared with this. I got a B+ (Economics), a B (General Studies), a B- (Accountancy), a C (Mathematics S) and a C- (Malay language). First, the bad part: I failed one of the papers in Malay, pulling my grade down to a C-. What was one of my hopes for an A became the lowest grade in my result slip. The other paper had a what-must-be-very-strong B+, but the F for my written portion makes no sense - I was top of my class. I’m appealing.

Then there is Economics. I was so hoping I would get at least an A-, instead a B+ is what I get. If I didn’t get an F in that paper and got an A- in this paper, a cummulative GPA of 3.0 and above is feaible. Instead, it’s 2.55.

I didn’t go to Singapore hence - spending so much money on visiting universities I have a very very slim chance of getting in does not entice me. Everyone is congratulating me but to me, I most certainly could do much better. I really want to resit my STPM, I know I could improve my grade dramatically.

The good news is the Maths. While in my trials and every school exam since 2002, I have failed Mathematics. And this time, I got a C. Which means my average score is in the region of 50s or 60s (out of 100). For someone who struggled previously to get double-digit percentages, this is great news. What’s better, I got a B+ (that’s B-plus) for my Mathematics Paper 2 (which was Statistics and Business Mathematics) - which means I got my marks within the range of 80s or the high 70s.

That’s two weeks of work. Imagine what I could do with 6-7 months of work? I got a D+ in the first paper, which is calculus and other assorted nightmares - not stellar, but consider, the last test, I scored 5 marks. To get a D, I need at least 40 percent marks.

Everyone is congratulating me, somehow it being a big achievement (my Singapore-Cambridge A-Level best friend pointed out that if converted roughly on a Nottingham basis to A-level results, it’s 3A’s and 2B’s) but still, I could have done much better. I’m just so freaking depressed. I think I’ll gain a few kilos the next couple of weeks.