It’s unbearable
Everything in my life is just falling apart. My dreams, my hopes. It’s miserable. There’s just no break from it, there’s no escape. The people who I thought are my friends aren’t, those I thought were my best friends were just buddies from a bygone era. Parents continue to ignore me; I had a terrible flu yet they wonder why my chores aren’t done. I bought a bunch of chocolates from my short holidays as Christmas presents to those “friends”, skipping a few lunches to afford them, only to find them eaten by my brother. Confronting the petty theft only led to the victim, me, getting scolded while the thieve not even reprimanded.
I seem to believe having a terminal disease is better than having a family that at best ignores you or at worst beat you down to a pulp, having homosexual tendencies and having no close friends to help you out. At least in the prior people sympathize with you. In the latter, you suffer alone.