Pink Tuesdays

There are some blogs I shouldn’t read, like GayOrbit, GayPatriot, etc. (For the prior, if you have the same problem as me, *don’t* search for it). I used to read blogs by gays on the conservative/libertarian side of the political spectrum… but now, pictures that seem so mild last time seems like an unsurmountable stumbling block…

And there are blogs like Hit and Run, who confuse libertarian with libertine. Fleeing temptation is hard.

I lead a double life. Previously, I’m a goody-two-shoes Christian teenager, leader in my school’s CF to most, and to a select few of 20-25 men, a guy named “Robert” who happen to work in Bangkok Bank that likes lunchbreak fun. Now, the latter is replaced by a guy named “Rex”, blogging in a secret blog, reading secret books.. err, book, getting rid of ex-gay brochures…

*sigh*

But now, I’m doing absolutely nothing wrong in the eyes of society, the law and, of course, God. Why another secret life? I can’t possibly tell my parents, considering past experiences, I can’t trust them - I have to assume the worst. And thus, by extension, can’t tell anyone in church. Hiding books, clearing my Internet history, discarding brochures and namecards away from home… just as emotionally exhaustive as my prior life.

Just hope it is worth it.